I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
