Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
