she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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