East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
