We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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