That reminds me...we need to get swords
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
jump out the window naked night went bad
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
