8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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