I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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