remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
