It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
