the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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