So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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