Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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