dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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