Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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