when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
