the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
