well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
