these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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