I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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