Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
