I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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