he puts the penis in happiness.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
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we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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