I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
