I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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