First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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