i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
