This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
