Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
