My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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