She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize