dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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