Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
