There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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