the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
