I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
