he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
