She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
