Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I understand Curling. That high.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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