Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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