You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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