There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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