i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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