so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
