Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
