oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
