I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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