we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
