I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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