I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize