i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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