Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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