Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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