i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
