Just cropdusted the office
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
