maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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