he thought i was a dude.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
