talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize