Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.