Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.

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  (202): also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker. http://tfl.nu/m532
  Replies (16) Good night (483) Bad night (2091) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (546) Bad night (4499) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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  (847): okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy. http://tfl.nu/r1l8
  Replies (20) Good night (503) Bad night (4880) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note

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  (252): im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note http://tfl.nu/eb9t
  Replies (21) Good night (5669) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night

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  (307): Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night http://tfl.nu/tl6b
  Replies (7) Good night (858) Bad night (3717) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check

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  (847): there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check http://tfl.nu/dzvq
  Replies (7) Good night (3945) Bad night (1202) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights

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  (812): woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights http://tfl.nu/5oxk
  Replies (16) Good night (1018) Bad night (2615) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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  (603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94
  Replies (6) Good night (3615) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.

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  (250): Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment. http://tfl.nu/7c81
  Replies (10) Good night (1203) Bad night (2166) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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  (774): its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody http://tfl.nu/wrf2
  Replies (12) Good night (2546) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2333) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (532)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  well in DOG beers, i've only had one

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  (717): well in DOG beers, i've only had one http://tfl.nu/2mnf
  Replies (20) Good night (5303) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock

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  (850): She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock http://tfl.nu/s796
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1586)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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  (818): Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy." http://tfl.nu/kcv8
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt

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