Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.