Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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  (801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa
  Replies (33) Good night (4659) Bad night (740)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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  (303): i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass http://tfl.nu/z36r
  Replies (76) Good night (819) Bad night (5017)
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  (818): View more from California

  he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....

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  (818): he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was.... http://tfl.nu/srrx
  Replies (31) Good night (4735) Bad night (3134)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?

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  (561): How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible? http://tfl.nu/fu3i
  Replies (101) Good night (976) Bad night (4587)
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  (714): View more from California

  i perioded on his leg

  (714): View more from California

  on. his. leg.

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  (714): i perioded on his leg (714): on. his. leg. http://tfl.nu/sr0m
  Replies (49) Good night (1212) Bad night (10789)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

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  (865): I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is. http://tfl.nu/unb6
  Replies (13) Good night (4965) Bad night (1476)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  (850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6
  Replies (14) Good night (5402) Bad night (1035)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

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  (432): To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway http://tfl.nu/h9fr
  Replies (8) Good night (3339) Bad night (1195)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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  (716): i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody. http://tfl.nu/l0aj
  Replies (7) Good night (3392) Bad night (884)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

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  (817): I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy.... http://tfl.nu/l8ba
  Replies (8) Good night (1910) Bad night (737)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer

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  (585): Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/enk8
  Replies (4) Good night (2163) Bad night (823)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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  (801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (882)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.

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  (210): I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do. http://tfl.nu/dd4u
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (590)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

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  (334): this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him http://tfl.nu/vg1j
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (429)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer

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  (770): I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer http://tfl.nu/8rgu
  Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (405)

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